This two-time surrogate mother wants to share her joy of parenting and gives an inside look at what it\u2019s like to carry a child for another family.<\/i><\/p>\n
One of the most delightful and daunting experiences in life doesn\u2019t come easy for everyone. For Sonja Martin, 45, however, pregnancy and being a mother was her passion in life. After giving birth to her third child, the Ontario-based author and child educator knew her joyful journey had finally come to an end. But as she contemplated her future, she couldn\u2019t shake the feeling that something was wrong.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI have always, since I was five years old, wanted to be a mom,\u201d she says. \u201cBy the time I had my third, it was like a\u00a0 grieving process. I didn\u2019t want to be done with this stage of my life, but I\u2019m not going to continue having kids.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n So instead of moving on, Martin turned her attention to helping others experience what she had in abundance \u2014 first by becoming a leader and lactation specialist at <\/span>La Leche League<\/span><\/a>, a non-profit organization that supports mothers as they learn how to breastfeed, and then by becoming a <\/span>doula<\/span><\/a> to help guide others through their pregnancy process.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n She soon realized she wanted \u201cmore,\u201d and would find it during a passing conversation with an acquaintance at a baby fair who had recently made the decision to become a surrogate. A weekend retreat following that fateful day provided all the clarity she would need.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cIt just kept coming to me,\u201d she says. \u201cBy the time I came home, I had a journal and I had it all planned.\u201d She presented her thoughts on becoming a <\/span>surrogate<\/span><\/a> to her husband, he expressed his support and set out to change lives.<\/span><\/p>\n Do surrogate mothers in Canada receive compensation?<\/b><\/p>\n As she researched the process, Martin learned that nearly <\/span>one in six couples experience infertility<\/span><\/a> and surrogates are in very high demand in Canada. Unlike in the U.S., it is illegal to pay someone else to carry your child. This lack of any real financial incentive means the waiting list for hopeful parents is acutely long.<\/span><\/p>\n With the growing number of Canadians in line for a surrogate, many people are left wondering why the laws prevent them from receiving payment. It\u2019s because the <\/span>Assisted Human Reproduction Act<\/span><\/a> prohibits payments in an effort to impede on any attempt to commercialize reproduction services. They can be reimbursed for reasonable expenses, but the laws surrounding those are stringent.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWhen we get compensated, it means that every single time we go anywhere, we\u2019ve got to record it, take a picture of the receipt, put it in an app and write reports,\u201d says Martin. \u201cYou don\u2019t make a penny in Canada \u2014 if anything, you\u2019re going to be out of pocket because you\u2019ll forget to submit a receipt or you purchase something that isn\u2019t covered.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Martin says years ago, a friend told her that for every surrogate that stands up, there are 10 people waiting. And with COVID, the surrogate supply decreased with fewer people willing to interact with the healthcare system – so\u00a0 a lot of people dropped out.<\/span><\/p>\n Traditional vs gestational surrogate<\/b><\/p>\n It\u2019s important to distinguish that there are two types of surrogate pregnancies: traditional and gestational. Traditional surrogacy is when the surrogate mother not only carries the child, but also provides her eggs with the intention of giving the baby to other parents upon birth. \u201cIt\u2019s rare in Canada,\u201d says Martin. \u201cWith traditional surrogacy, the surrogate is also the biological mother so the legal process is even more complicated than in my scenario.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Martin is a gestational surrogate, which means she carries the child but the egg is retrieved either from the intended mother or an egg donor. \u201cThe paperwork is intense,\u201d says Martin. \u201cI signed nearly 1000 pages of documents – every possible scenario needs to be accounted for and the intended parents actually have very little control over the actual pregnancy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n What motivates someone to be a surrogate?<\/b><\/p>\n With no financial incentive, Martin is often asked why she would put herself through the often-grueling nature of childbirth for someone she doesn\u2019t know. \u201cI guess the short version would be a maternal calling,\u201d she says with a smile. \u201cI\u2019m really big on parenting. I think you teach your kids that you love people. It doesn\u2019t matter their gender \u2014 some people need help.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n She realized just how dire this need was when the first surrogate agency she contacted got back to her almost immediately, eager to get things started. It was the first of many surprises.<\/span><\/p>\n According to Martin, the screening process is bare minimum. \u201cThe bar, in my opinion, is set really low because surrogates are in such demand. The initial screening from their agency is more like matchmaking. They ask you, \u2018Are you OK with same-sex couples? How do you feel about an international couple?\u2019 And then you get a phone call instantly. What you don\u2019t realize is that there are 200 families who have been waiting for five years for someone to sign up.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n The work that goes into carrying someone\u2019s child<\/b><\/p>\n Martin wasn\u2019t about to back down, however, and after completing the process and giving birth to her first surrogate child almost four years ago, she is something of an expert on just how time-consuming it can actually be.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t think people realize it\u2019s a job. It might sound crass but it\u2019s an unpaid volunteer job. You have to be aware of that going into it,\u201d says Martin.<\/span><\/p>\n After giving birth to a happy healthy baby that now lives with their two dads in France, Martin took a few years off before deciding she was ready to begin the process anew. She took the time to write a children\u2019s book called <\/span>Eli\u2019s Baby Story<\/span><\/a> – helping little ones understand what surrogacy is all about.<\/span><\/p>\n How PocketHealth brings moments of joy to intended parents<\/b><\/p>\n Now pregnant with her second surrogate child, Martin has found the process has become easier, thanks, in part, to advances in technology. Since COVID restrictions affected how many people can come into<\/span> ultrasound <\/span><\/a>clinics, the intended parents missed some of these special moments and Martin wanted to share the excitement and keep them informed of the baby\u2019s progress. Fortunately, PocketHealth gives patients control over access to their medical imaging, so after every appointment, Martin sends her sonograms to the parents using PocketHealth, allowing them to follow along on their child\u2019s journey.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cLike any other parents, they want the souvenirs, they want to know that everything\u2019s good, they want to share updates,\u201d she says. \u201cFor the parents, it gives them peace of mind and keeps them included in the experience.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Post-surrogacy and sharing the love of parenthood<\/b><\/p>\n